160th Signal Brigade

Ever wish you could just quit something? Or just say “Stop this ride, I want to get off”? Or say “I got myself in over my head this time”? —these are a very natural reactions and desires when we are facing tough times, challenges or situations that are less than ideal. Often when we face a challenge there is this quiet voice within us that says “Let’s go back; Let’s go back to a place where it’s comfortable, where life is safe and predictable”. I think we all face thoughts like this from time to time.

This morning I was reminded of the story of Hernando Cortes, who was a 16th Century explorer. In 1519 he led the Spanish fleet on an expedition to the new world. When he arrived he knew that the hardships and challenges of the new world would be severe. He knew that many of the sailors and explorers with him would eventually become discouraged, weary, fearful and disheartened. He knew that the adversity and privation of the immediate surroundings would cloud or even crush their vision, hopes and dreams. He knew that when the tough times came, his people would begin to lose sight of what brought them there to begin with. He knew that they would begin to yearn for home, for the life they once knew; the life that was simpler, predictable and safe.

So you know what he did? He burned the ships! By doing that, his people had no choice but to press on, to push on, to make it work, to be creative, to take risks, to hold on to the vision,-- to find a way. And that’s exactly what they did. It wasn’t easy. The hardships were severe. The cost was high. But they made it.

So, when that small quiet voice whispers to you, “Let’s turn back, this is too much, I don’t think I can do this”, I want to challenge you to burn those mental and emotional ships. Grasp hold of the dream and vision you have. Press on. Push harder. Find a way. Believe in yourself, but more importantly, believe in and trust the God who created you and established a plan and purpose for your life before you drew your first breath.

During his times of hardship, the apostle Paul wrote, “…forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God…” God’s upward call is offered to each of us—press on!

Blessings,

(CH) LTC Robert E. Phillips
160th Signal Brigade
APO AE, 09366
DSN: 318-430-2121, 318-430-8642
CELL: 011-965-9720-6376
bob.phillips1@us.army.mil

When my kids were babies, we placed a mobile over their crib. They would watch the characters rotate around and they would listen as it played a soft lullaby. There were many nights that my wife and I hoped that the music and movement would entertain our baby while we tried to get some sleep. Some times it worked. A lot of times it didn’t.

A mobile is a good illustration of a family. Each character on the mobile represents a family member. Each member is uniquely placed so that the mobile is perfectly balanced. Every family, regardless of the number of family members, or family background, always seeks to maintain balance. Each family goes about achieving and sustaining balance in various ways. The one commonality is that every family is either seeking balance or working to maintain it.

During prolonged periods of separation and deployment, Army families fall out of balance. Essentially, what happens is one of the main characters on the mobile is completely removed. The result is the whole mobile shifts and swings and becomes lopsided. Anxiety, stress and uncertainty cause a major disruption to the balance of the family. Each of the members is affected and each responds accordingly.

The more mature members of the family will make conscious efforts to restore balance. Unfortunately, there are times when their movement toward balance off-sets or contradicts the movements of other family members who are also attempting to find balance. The younger members of the family are less capable of understanding what is happening. They are less likely to articulate their thoughts and feelings. They often communicate their stress and anxiety by acting out.

The adjustment can be tough for even the strongest and healthiest families. Most families are resilient and can restore at least some semblance of balance. Some families simply endure and tough it out. Some need a little help, and there is nothing wrong with that. But I believe all family members are doing what they believe is right and they are doing what they feel in their heart is best.

Problems arise when we fail to recognize and respect the decisions and struggles of our family members. You may not agree with their decisions; you may think their choices are poor. However, one of the keys to achieving family balance is realizing that there is a reason for their behavior. There is a rationale for their decisions, and there is a motivation beneath their actions. The challenge for us is to look beyond the behavior to explore what is below the outward actions.

Here are some questions to consider: What are the needs, feelings or fears that our family member is experiencing? Is this their way of trying to restore balance? Is this their way of saying they are overwhelmed with the lack of balance? I believe we would do well to pause and think about these things before we attempt to restore the balance ourselves.

So the bottom line is this: Each family member is trying to figure out how to get things balanced. Our opinions may differ, and our approaches might vary, but the one non-negotiable is we have to respect one another. We have to identify one another’s needs, and try to understand one another’s motives. And, we have to remember, we are all on the same team. Ultimately, we all desire the same thing: Balance.